This feeling

I've being through all
it's just the start
I hurt once more
it's not the last
music fall like teardrops from my eyes
still I've seen the one I love this time

Rainy days are back
life is filled with tears
pain I want no more
peace this time return
seems I had the best
yet my heart regret
You, me, I cannot tell
spirit come fill me this I ask

All alone this time
in the cold me alone
my heart re owned
my love regret
what feeling is this
sweet, sweet love
bittersweet!

I let you in
you run me down again
soft soothing word
yet alone again
in this bitter sweet love
this art of move ain't mine.

To you

Beautiful, mighty father
love me like no other
keep me strong in time of trouble
I cast my care upon you
you carry me
on eagles wings you make me soar
I stay higher than any other
on your wings I feel secure
you give me a reason to live
I go through so much yet you love keeps me closer to you
Why should I worry when
I have one who loves and
cares for me like no other

Jesus you know your love keeps me sane really!.. and I love thee.. :).. xx

Driven by lust not love
Driven by hate not love
Driven by flesh not the heart
make things which are not meant to be matter the most in you life
you're not the first neither would you be the last
deal with the pain within
deal with the yearning of your flesh
look within
is this really what you want?
Life atimes we are given so many choices
yet we settle for the one we can see
Dig deep!, there is something bigger for you
someone out there waiting for you
kill the cry of loneliness within. Be happy!
Be grateful for the present
Work for the future
enjoy your peace
erase the struggle in your heart
it's not worth it really ..

.....

Waking  to the dawn of a newday
Did i say new?..
The start of the continuation of the day before..
A replay of the day before heated with fury
where pain has found its resting place
I am hurt
Hurt by love
Robbed of happiness and forgotten in pain
Left to wallow in the misery inflicted by the yearning of my soul
That which my soul needs has  made me its enemy
The voice of my endless longing has quenched the flames of love
I am broken
Left alone in pain and misery
Never again would i release myself to such torture!

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thought

Torn between love and security 

how ironic!.. 

One would say with love come security 

but this time it is different 

Life right now is a beauty 

wallowing in so much love, and care yet,  

I wonder if I seek too much...  

So many times, we fall vicitm
planning for the future because  you're so much in love
you're too blind to see that life is unpredictable
and the happenings in life are not controlled by man
let everything fall into place..
Learn to love... bt live an open life ...........

Times like this when you feel so alone

You seek for joy’s embrace

But sadness makes your heart it’s resting place

You wish for so many things

Things you wish you never did

You wish to undo that which ones brought you so much happiness but now pain it brings

You question the life you’ve chosen to led

You question all your choices and decisions

You hope to God for only the right choices is that you wanna make

You got so many questions to ask but you struggle

The good begets the evil which has taken hold of you

Raptured your heart and sealed it with so much confusion

I beg for mercy!

This feeling is killing

TeddY Love

My train of thought is hard to follow
my mind wonders so faraway
even I can't stop
my thoughts are clouded
focused on just one
which the brightest smile in me
he brings
my heart's merry for
this love is pure
never felt this way.
Where my all I wanna give.
You reach the depth of my soul with your smile
the far ends of my heart feels the heat
for the warmth of ur love
keeps my heartbeat
so many times I fought with love
but this time it's held me bound
bound to a life of peace,
adoration, care, affection and LOVE
my heart's one cry
is for this twined life of ours to end a fairytale
show the power of love
pull through the tides of life
pressing through love's turmoils and pain
surpassing the crys of the heart
and sealing it with the passion to stay strong in love.

Reasons to appreciate family

You never know the worth of what you've got until
you see it slipping away from you
and all you can do is watch
because you can't do anything more ..
You never know the worth of a person
until they're no longer there
to make fun of your silliness
make fun of the way you speak
scold you for your wrong doings
give you a hug and tell you they love you
You would never know the worth of dad
until you are left alone to fix the things
he wouldn't let his princess do
until you need him to smile at you and be your rock
until you need him to put you in the right path
Appreciate what you've got .. Appreciate what you have
cause time lost with those who care the most about you
especially family.. is time lost forever
Because the love of your parents, siblings- immediate and extended is overwhelming when experienced ...

I love my dad, mum siblings... extended family ..
I've been showered with so much love and care from birth
and I'm appreciative because it's made me the happy person I am today!!..

Never been so scared of losing anything like I was today ... Bt I thank God for life!!!!.. :)...

hey.. it's funny how so many people read my blog but I can't see any comment or likes
from anyone of you.. anyway .... I've gt one noteI do not think I would
ever post it .. it's gonna be a struggle.. buhhhhhhh.. oh well we'll see hw it goes.. :)...

another thought

My thought on the 23/07/2012

Walking on eggshells around you
why place them there?...
you opened yourself first to love
now love you shut out!...
still tryina get what this is all about

last time!

I felt this way this week .buhhhh it's all gone with the wind!!!!!!.. forever!!!!!!... ...

Oh for one i know I'm not perfect 
Not a perfect woman 
With a perfect heart 
Nor do i have a perfect smile
 or perfect thought 
You've taken me just the way I am
"Just a lady"
 Even in my darkest moments
 You stand firm
 You hold me close so much
 I feel our hearts twined!
 You hear my every word 
And with your all you bring help
You radiate love
 I feel enraptured as i dwell in my thoughts of you
 I push you away yet you draw me neigh
 I go faraway yet you find me
 Like one who's lost that with makes him whole that's what you are
 My heart this day yearns to reach perfection just for you 
My soul crys for the peace I once knew 
My spirit calls for your smile which sets dat pedestal of joy in my heart
 This time my love would flow like the gentle wind.. 
Reach out to you and keep you for me
 My eyes would not water for i know you'll stay beside me 
I plead for God's love to touch this heart of mine
 Heal it and bring me fully to you
 Because you are the best 
And my best is all I want to give!..

Just something before I go to bed.. dnt really knw if it's true to you.. bt... Oh well.. :)

The amount of energy it takes to keep someone totally out of your thoughts is the same energy used to breathe in and out .. because as you breathe, you live ..... you think of that same person and wish he or she is there with you... It takes more to breathe at this time cause ur heart is heavy ... holding the thoughts of one you hold close and exerting much pressure as the heart beats!... Right now I cannot explain how I feel but I sure know something is missing... One thing I must do is look within and search for that which adds that glow to my smile and causes my heart to beat in peace. That no amount of sadness or bitterness can penetrate!... I want to be happy in all aspects.... Yes.. It's only a matter of time!...because everyone deserves true happiness.

NOW

Pardon my chit chat today.... but this is how I feel this very moment ......

Now this is a week I choose to stand for that which is true, I have battled with thoughts which have held me bound... Battled with happiness which has brought me so much tears .. Struggled which peace which has meddled with my joy and has again hurt others... Today... I stand firm.. I wanna take hold of things .. I would call on God daily as him alone knows what I want in life ... Atimes I wish I know God's plan for my future!.. I wouldn't bother which things!.. Yet I want him to have his way this very moment..... Woke up this morning with different thoughts in my head .. my mind wandering.. Yes wandering as I feel like a stranger to my own self... this is a week of self realisation .... Of course I knw what I need in live the now .. True happiness .. Only the way to go about it is what I want to know.... That's where God comes to play ... I have heard the words of wisdom everyone has for me... This day I hope I take my hold of my happiness and I know sound mind and voices of confusion playing in my head would seize!... I would play a song of joy as I would overcome all interfering thoughts ........even as I now walk in the path of silencing voices!.... .

I wonder

When it feels like there's a struggle
Atimes it comes naturally
Atimes you feel lost
You want to let it out
But wonder oncemore if it's right
Your heart still is split
It wanders...
I wonder if all this would end
If one day one would firmly silence the voices
Voices within far from my reach
Voices within I can't control
So many questions I can't bear to answer
For I know with one answer comes another thought
Too scared to let go... Fear's not mine yet
in this heart of mine ... it's resting place has it made
Still I wonder as it feels right atimes
But is it really right??.....

God's help

This is not one of my confused notes .. jst a plea to God ...In his wisdom.. I need his touch .... don't understand what my life's gonna be like in years to come

With one decision I make ..
several choices are made open to me ...
God!!!... I do not want to do this without you
I have neglected you
pushed you aside
gone astray
taken control of my life.
this one thing I have done
I know would haunt my everyday
I do not regret
yet I feel guilty
I come back to you oh Lord
Help me make the right choices .... hmmmmm

NOW....

Feels like a  part of me just died
and another sprout
My life has been a puzzle
A love puzzle
One confusion made it's place of rest
And I struggled with fears
Still I struggle to free myself
Bt slowly I give in to love
Open my heart and let love do it's magic.......

hmmmmmmmm...........

You don't wanna be overbearing
neither would u wanna be a pain
all to show you care
be natural
true to urself
no false pretence
cos life leads you to different places where
you need to stay constant
no attitude change
no change of belief!
Just stay true to who you are
all everything would fall in place for you ...

Jst a quick thought .....

,,,,,,,I just realised

u may love so many other guyz
meet so many amazing people..
But your first love would always hold that
special place in your heart
you may nt want to be together again
but thoughts of how he/she opened your eyes to love
just makes you smile
Love is magical ...
I wanna love again ......

.........................#######................................

You know atimes I think  to myself
I do not deserve all the affection, love and care showered on me
I am surrounded by amazing people
People who love and care about me
people who treasure me
that it seems so unreal to me
but it is real
not in anyway making an artistic writing
just need to understand how to deal with so much love
and not hurt anyone
because my llife right now
hmmmmmm........
just at a stage where
I feel like running away from my own self
and getting someone else
to deal with this drama
I am caught between two walls
I NEED YOUR WISDOM OH LORD!.....